To be strong is to not regret
by sweetgums
Summary: In the stunned silence, there was only the scream of the demon contractor. Rising higher and higher, and resounding into the dark sky.


**To be strong is to not regret**

* * *

"Hey, why are you crying?"

His sister's tone is unusually soft, but Oga doesn't notice.

It's too dark outside, and Furuichi's nowhere to be found.

* * *

"Huh?"

"A nickname! I said a nickname, Furuichi!"

"Why do you need a nickname for?"

"Isn't it obvious, you dumbass? Too sound cool!"

"Who the hell is a dumbass you freaking mad dog!?"

They last only a few minutes tugging and pulling and punching at each other before Misaki throws them out of the house, complaining about the ruckus.

* * *

"Why are your eyes all red?"

"Hah?"

"Your eyes" Furuichi repeats, wondering if the light coming from the window at his bedside was making him see things "Why are they like that? They're all red and puffy"

But Oga throws him an almost accusatory glance and Furuichi knows he's definitely not imagining it. Surely not…

"Were you _crying_?"

"Pfft, like hell I was" He crosses his arms and faces away from Furuichi, like he always does when he's mad "Idiot Furuichi"

He can't think of another explanation, but Furuichi dismisses it right away, 'cause there's no way the mad dog Oga would do so much as shed a single tear.

* * *

_Do you know what being strong means, Tatsumi?_

* * *

"You're quiet today"

With the setting sun resting on his face, Oga looks almost relaxed on his back.

"Really?"

"Yeah, more so than usual"

The river, always so noisy, is unusually calm, as if mirroring the other boy staring at its surface.

"Is it because of Miki?"

Oga doesn't reply, and that's enough of an answer to Furuichi. So he interrupts the quiet breaking the surface with a stone.

"Let's go home already"

* * *

"I want to beat you… at least once"

_Surely then, I can stand in the same place as you are._

* * *

"It's been a while. Do you even remember?"

If he were to be completely honest, Furuichi did not remember, not as readily as he would have liked. But not because he didn't _care_, Furuichi wasn't really like that; it was only because of what had happened in the last few weeks. It was like Baby Beel had taken completely over their lives.

"You guys made me cry all the time"

"Miki...?"

He was unsure, because he could not recall right away, but mostly because the boy standing in front of him did not match his memories at all. Miki had always been shy, amiable, a little too short.

"It's been a while"

But this guy was nearly as tall as Furuichi.

And as he brushes his had hand away, he notices he's not nearly as excited as he is to have found him again.

"...You.. You've changed"

"You think?"

At that time, he had liked Miki. He hadn't had a friend like him in a while, not after Oga, who had monstrous strength and was always eager to fight. Oga was an odd balance to his weak persona, but Miki was the same as him, an equal.

It made him feel not so bad about himself.

'Cause even though the existence of demons had come into his life, Furuichi remained the same. Even though he had remained by Oga's side all this time and Miki had left. But now Miki was taller, more confident. There was no denying that he had worked really hard.

And he had become stronger than Furuichi could ever hope to be.

* * *

_Being strong it's not about how many fights you can win, it's about what you want to protect._

* * *

"What about you guys? Is Hilda still alright?"

"Yeah, it looks like she is, but things aren't looking too good. Just now, the old man with glasses looked straight at me"

_Old man with glasses…? Wait, he couldn't mean…!?_

"That's Behemoth!"

"Yeah, he winked at us" Oga hears Lamia somewhere near the intercom "It's like he's giving us a message, letting us know that he could just run over here and kill us if he wanted"

And that's exactly why Oga didn't want Furuichi involved in the first place. But that stupid idiot had been so insistent in acting as a lookout for Oga. As if he didn't have his hands full trying to rescue Hilda already!

"…Damn that old man"

When Himekawa arrives at their building half an hour later, Oga pretends he's relieved because how else was he going to solve that stupid puzzle, anyway?

When Himekawa takes over the role as the general, Furuichi pretends he doesn't mind the situation in the slightest.

* * *

"I want to see exactly what kind of man Oga's partner is"

Even if he was completely unable to defend himself, Furuichi allows himself to take pride on the fact that his eyes did not waver at any moment.

The bastard had his fun for a grand total of fifteen minutes, and Furuichi is almost certain that he has cracked a rib or two. His blood has painted the floor and even some of the walls a dark red, but Furuichi does not fear for his life.

This time he won't wait, he will go to Oga himself even if he has to make a thousand contracts instead.

* * *

"Jeez, making me worry about you…"

Even though he's strong enough to walk, Furuichi doesn't dodge Oga's kick at his side. And as Oga finally lies down on his own bed, with only the sound of Furuichi's rhythmic breath filling the room, he wonders if perhaps his words were not enough back then.

* * *

_Unless you have something you really want to protect, you'll never become strong_

* * *

Furuichi hadn't gotten lost, but that's the story he gave to his mother anyway.

He has scratches and bruises and maybe scars that would never fade. But he manages to smile at him anyway.

Oga knew he should have never made friends.

* * *

In the last moments of his life, Furuichi cannot believe his end would come at the hands of a little girl.

But even worse, as he catches a glimpse of Oga as he's falling down, is the thought that Oga had opening seats for the grand spectacle of the last moments of his life, and the last thing he wonders is if it's as terrible as Oga's face shows.

* * *

Being a man means you won't cry, no matter how much it hurts.

So when Oga witnesses Furuichi's heart being ripped out of his fucking chest, he doesn't cry, but he can't choke down that scream of anguish that comes out anyway.

* * *

_I hope you someday find someone, you can turn your back on without any worries._

And you waited for me all this time.

I'm so sorry.

* * *

_I have to become stronger… so strong, that I can make all of them shut their yaps._

And I wasn't able to keep my promise.

Please forgive me.

* * *

_Don't worry, you'll get it when you grow up_

* * *

"Tatsumi" this a time a bit harsher, Misaki calls for him "Do you remember what I told you once, a long time ago?"

Oga rubs furiously at his eyes, willing for the tears to stop coming.

"Yeah" he says defiantly, gnawing at the inside of his cheek to keep his voice from breaking.

She stares at his trembling back, sighing inwardly. He was still a kid, after all.

"So, do you get it now?"

_Did you find it? That which you want to protect at all costs?_

He wasn't meant to have to answer that sort of question until many years later. But when Takachin had come into their lives everything was thrown into disarray. So when Oga doesn't hesitate to answer in the slightest at her words, she's not surprised.

"Yeah" he repeats, and she's glad to hear that edge steel is back in his voice.

"Then" she says as she places a hand on his shoulder, the corners of her mouth tugging slightly upwards in pride "You know what you have to do"

Oga brushes away his tears one last time, nodding solemnly, not knowing that a few doors away a small boy is staring at the white ceiling, fists hard, the same determination and promise in his eyes.

"_I have to become stronger_"

At least, that he can be sure of.


End file.
